Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Harnessing Your Anger

“The world needs anger.  The world often continues to allow evil because it isn't angry enough.” ~ Bede Jarrett
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As with fear, most people think that anger is a terrible and destructive emotion.  They may have been on the receiving end of someone else’s rage and didn’t like how it felt or were programmed that way.  The truth is that it can be negative, but if wielded properly, anger can be an amazing force for good and a catalyst for positive change.

When we are children, we are conditioned to believe that anger is wrong.  A young child who is expressing his displeasure by acting out is having a “temper tantrum.”  The teenager trying to communicate her anger is “acting out” or “talking back.”  The parent is always right and the child is left to suffer in silence, pushing their resentment deeper and creating a generation that doesn’t know how to deal with its emotions, especially anger.
“At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.” ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg
Anger should be an indication that something is not right.  It is also the GPS that will lead you to figure out what is wrong and also gives you an idea of what your personal boundaries are.  Others don’t like when we have boundaries, so expect some resistance.  People that have been walking all over us for years are not going to be too pleased at us asserting ourselves or telling them “no.”

Once you have figured out what the problem is that is causing your anger, brainstorm on how to change it.  If it is a person, talk to them about what is causing the anger.  If it is a social injustice or cause, find out how you can get involved and lend your energy to make a positive change on the issue.  The worst thing that you can do is to ignore it and let it continue to boil and fester in your subconscious.

Anger is energy and it is up to you to choose what to do with it.
Do not teach your children never to be angry; teach them how to be angry.  ~Lyman Abbott

7 comments:

~*Gypsy*~ said...

awesome post! I actually really kind of needed this message too. I often find myself telling myself that it's not ok for me to be angry, and sometimes it is!

Penny said...

I used to get angry at myself for being angry (how is that for irony lol). I have practiced taking control of that anger and it is amazing how empowering it is when you can use your anger *for* you, and not let another person use it *against* you, if that makes any sense.

Dark Mother said...

BRAVO! I love love love this! Entirely too often we (especially women) are pressured by society to be the "good girl" and end up swallowing that anger as food, drink or drugs.

I say let 'er rip and do something with it rather than let it fester!

SilverFox said...

So very true! I know with young toddlers it's a little harder to teach them how to be angry and to express themselves a little more openly, but the idea is still a perfect one we do need to focus on more.
I am definitely one of those people who normally just lets things slide by until it builds up to a breaking point...which I need to work on.

Magaly Guerrero said...

I'm a runner, and before every race I find a quiet place and think about the most enraged moments of my life: people who have pissed me off in ways that made me want to punch them on the face, but I didn't, of course.

My best friend laughs at me when I do it, and when people ask him what doing he tells them "She is invoking her angry running spirits. Stay away from in on the tracks, and don't look straight into her eyes until she crosses the finish line, or she might melt you to death."

It took me a while to figure out how to harness my anger, but once I did, my 21 minutes 3 miles, went down to 18:28. And my fictional characters suffer some the bloodiest of deaths, but I'm all smiles ;-D

P.S. I grabbed your lovely button.

Yvonne said...

Wonderful post. Thanks for commenting on my T on T day post. Love your blog. Off to read more of your interesting posts. Have a good tea day today.

Rue said...

Hi Sparrow - just to let you know you won my blog giveaway for March! Please email your mailing address to rueandhyssop (at) gmail (dot) com. Thanks & congrats!

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