Finding Your Own Magic

There is not a day that goes by when something magical does not happen. Of course sometimes we miss the opportunity to take part in such events even when they are happening right in front of us. We dismiss them at times as coincidence or possibly just a misinterpretation. They may not necessarily go with what we are “suppose to” believe, therefore we cannot acknowledge the possibility of its validity. I will be the first to say that I am not quite sure what to call myself when it comes to the labeling and/or naming of my beliefs. I envy those who can speak right up and claim to be Wiccan, Pagan, or even Christian. I call myself Pagan yet at times wonder if I offend others who also claim this name. Offending a specific belief has always been something I try hard not to do. As I would not like anyone to say I do not have the right to practice the beliefs I hold or that I am damned because of what I do or don’t believe; I likewise do not feel I have that right to do the same to them.

A non specific Pagan is what I call myself for the most part. Gleaning from all the information and experiences I have had over time and taking some and leaving others. Still I know that I am continuously evolving. I attempt to keep my mind open and my ears sharp for those morsels that come our way. Growing up in Middle Rural America, I did not have a variety of beliefs to choose from and Paganism was definitely not one of the choices. Yet I remember from a very early age having experiences that could not be explained. I was not able to really examine its origin until I was much older and much of this was done via reading. Unfortunately we did not have the internet and even finding suitable reading material could prove to be difficult. Thus much of my walk was done blindly in the dark.

I have never been a member of a Coven. My journey has one of a solitary. Quite honestly the only group religion I have been active in participating with others in is the Christian religion. Yet this experience taught me much. I believe that much of what I learned could easily be applied to any group. It is close to impossible to please everyone. This is mainly due to the fact that there are so many differing opinions. There is the need for leadership yet there are times when this can be a very delicate road to travel. The elders or wise ones teach those who are young and learning their way. Yet even in this one has to be careful not to neglect the wisdom of the young ones. I have learned many a lesson from a child’s words.

Whatever one’s beliefs may be, they are often quite personal. Yes there are those who follow simply because they are told to do so. I have always felt sadness for such people. Although I have found much wealth in the knowledge of others journeys, I have learned the most from my own. Otherwise I would still be following the church. I choose to set out and seek the answers to the questions that I had. Some led me straight back to what I had been told, others led me elsewhere. The earth in all her wisdom has been here longer than any of us. In her there are many secrets. Who can say that one can not feel the energy from her? It is a continuous journey that we all must take. Whether we make our own choices or allow someone else to.

As previously stated, there is never a day that goes by when something magical does not occur. Practical Magic is all around us. From the wearing of a crystal for protection, to the clearing of the mind via meditation, to the casting of a spell for luck, or the channeling of spirits, who is to say what is right and what is wrong. My wish for you as you continue your journey is that those moments of clarity come often to you, that your road is easily traveled, and when times do come that try or question you that you find strength to continue and wisdom to know what is right. Blessings

Practical/Magic

While I was trying to decide what to write on for this weeks post, I kept thinking about Luna's post from last week, about her Grimiore, or Book of Shadows. She mentioned that it might be more practical for us to keep our Book of Shadows as a file on the computer, "But still," she says, "I like having something pretty that can be passed on." I can get behind that idea - I love feeling my own book in my hand, I love the immediacy of it, and I am deeply in love with the idea that I am doing something that people have done for centuries - writing down my thoughts, discoveries and observations onto paper with ink.

I ponder this link to the past a lot. As modern Pagans, we are trying to walk an ancient path, but this is complicated by the modern world. We can keep our journey book on the PC; several pagan themed apps are available for the iPhone, including a Voodoo doll app, a tarot app, a Wiccan Ritual Calendar app; we can take classes in Witchcraft, Magical Herbalism, Sorcery, over the internet. Where is our ancient past among all of the shiny new tech of the future?

Not to mention that so much ancient wisdom has been lost over the centuries, we are forced to reexamine and extrapolate so much in order to fill in the blanks. We read and study and google, and yet, so much is still left to our own imaginations. I can't help but wonder what we are creating for the future, these amalgamations of old and new. I think, though, that this is also why Paganism, in it's different flavors, appeals to so many people now: We are watching the ancient past evolve into a bright future. Our link to ritual, magic, other worlds, folklore... these things give the cold, tech filled void of the present and future a meaning. Our rituals, our recipes, our methods of gathering herbs or building ritual tools - the things passed from one of us down to another. These things may seem impractical, and yet they bind us to one another, as well as to our past and our future, as a culture. I find that idea really beautiful, and it helps me understand better my own motives for somewhat esoteric way that I have chosen to exercise my faith.

Does it matter if we keep our spells in the computer? Or that we use our iPhones as a script prompt for our rituals? I'm not certain. In terms of spirituality, we may be living in our own Brave New World on a certain level, and perhaps we must make some things up as we go. A few centuries ago, Christians feared that science undermined the value and teachings of their God. The ancient Celts wrote almost nothing down, though they had a written language - was this because it was a dishonor to the knowledge that was being passed down? Or because keeping something in writing meant that you didn't actually have to learn it? I don't think anyone can really say. It does seem possible, however, that both of these cultures stood at a threshold of the future and felt the need to protect, strengthen and preserve a sense of spirituality. Maybe keeping our leather bound grimiores and other methods of maintaining or ancient collective spiritual histories in the face of these other, more 'practical' methods is our own way of preserving the spirit, the sacred link that connects us all to the Creative Forces of the Universe.

A Simple Spring Ritual of Thanks

Spring comes early in Southern California. The first rains of Winter bring a greening of the grass and make flowers bloom as early as February. My own back patio is starting to look alive again: my hardy lavender is starting to bloom, the nasturtiums that died off in the heat of the summer are back in force, and oxalis is everywhere.

Seeing all this fresh growth inspires me to throw off my winter mood, and this is a simple ritual I do to bring Spring into my life and give thanks.

I start by picking some of that new growth. lavendar flowers, the big round leaves of the nasturtium, the shamrock shaped leaves and dainty yellow flowers of the oxalis. I add to that herbs from my kitchen garden - basil and it’s flowers, mint, lemon balm, etc. As I harvest these things, I give thanks to the plants for parts that I take.

I arrange the cuttings into little vases, each for a particular deity in my pantheon. For instance, Scathac, my patron, is known as both a healer and a warrior/martial artist. She gets healing herbs like mint and lemon balm as well as the shamrocks that I hope will remind her of her native Scotland and Ireland. Lord Ganesha is a Hindu deity that I respect as the “remover of obstacles.” He reminds us that life is sweet, so I make his arrangement as fun as possible, with sprays of lavender, sweet mint, and red flowers. In India, red flowers are a common offering to Ganesha.

Obviously, my garden is limited, and so might yours be at this time of year, so I go with what I have, and what feels right. I don’t fret that the Gods might be upset that I don’t have a particular flower or plant that they are associated with, or that my choices are humble, because I know that these offerings come from my heart.

As I make each arrangement, I offer sincere thanks for the hope, strength, and blessings the Lords and Ladies have given me through the winter. To Scathac, who owned her own Fortress on the Isle of Skye, I offer thanks for protecting me, seeing me through my own battles, and helping me to keep my own home, or ‘fortress.’ I give thanks to Lord Ganesha for smoothing my way as much as possible through certain problems, and for the sweet moments I have had over the winter, and so on. Once I have finished an arrangement, I place it with a little bow and a word of thanks on the altar of the corresponding deity.

Once I am done, my house has lots of little vases that bring Springtime joy, and my heart is full of thanks and hope for the new Spring.

Bright Blessings!

Out of the Broom Closet: Easy Peasy

My parents were divorced when I was four, so it started like this: my father is Pentecostal (I like to describe it as one step away from Snake Handling,) and my mother was an atheist. So on my visits with my dad, it was pounding the devil out of the church floor with the bible, and singing in Sunday school and a lot of fire and brimstone. And when I went home, my mother would tell me that all the stories in the bible were just made up by ordinary people, and that I shouldn’t believe them. So of course, I was confused. However, I held on to my father’s faith for a long time - I guess something was better than nothing. It didn’t take me too long, however, to start to ask questions that he couldn’t answer - If there was a Father God, where was the Mother Goddess? And if the End Times came, and I was pregnant, would my baby be born? I don’t know why that question seemed so important. I was ten. Whatever. Questions like that. I became kind of angry at the idea of God, some old guy in a throne who had, obviously, no real idea what it was like to be a pre teen girl. Why should that guy be the boss of me?

I read a lot as a teenager. Books and books. And I lived out in the country, so I spent a lot of time alone, with only my books. This was important to my religious exploration in two ways: you can learn a lot from books, especially historical/fantasy fiction featuring proto Celtic races who worship Mother Deities and other Female aspects of the divine; and when you spend a lot of time alone with oak trees and a moon so bright you think you could touch it, you start to get in touch with other energies, things outside the realm of the Bible.

So over the years I read more, this time non fiction by Pagan writers and philosophers. And I tried to figure out just what I really believed. The term ‘witch’ scared me at first. So I just focused on the term ‘Pagan.’ Old Christian habits can be hard to shake. When I moved to LA, nearly a decade ago, everything sort of fell into place. I mean here, anything goes. Really. Being a witch is tame compared to most of the stuff you see.

So then I was just honest about it. When friends asked, I explained I was Pagan. And all of them were Ok with that. It never even raised an eyebrow among my LA Christian friends. People asked questions and we had discussions and I learned things about myself and what I really believed in through those talks. I don't really know many other Pagans, and I've never dated one, but I don't feel like an outsider at all. Actually, it made me feel rather normal and confident about the whole thing. But there was still the family.

My mom was first. Over the years, my mom had moved to some sort of Buddhism. Whatever kind of Buddhism it is that allows you to still really enjoy hunting. One day she found some of my bookmarked web sites featuring Paganism and witch craft, which I was more and more beginning to relate to. I tried to explain it as best I could in calm, normal tones in pretty simple terms. She listened and said that it really sounded very much the same to what she believed, which was that “it was all about energy.” And then she started sending me links to interesting Pagan sites she found! Go Mom!

My Dad’s Mom was next. She’s a Scientologist, which used to drive my Dad nuts. She also believes in energy and lots of other stuff, and that she is a reincarnated priestess from Atlantis. And she was explaining to me one day about my cousin, whom she is very close to, who kind of brought together all the stuff he believes in from Hinduism and Christianity and Buddhism etc. to create a body of beliefs that ‘served his needs.’ And we started this long and really awesome conversation about how faith should serve our own needs, and how we have the right to believe in whatever gives us strength and makes us feel loved by the universe. It was all very new agey but very cool, and she was happy for me.

I still haven’t told Dad. Not because I’m afraid of him, or afraid that he will disown me or something like that, but I know that if I do, he will just spend all of his time worrying about my soul and feeling bad, and my Dad is the most loving, caring person I know, and I don’t want to burden him with that kind of worry. He’s happy with his faith, and I’m happy with mine, and he shouldn’t have to fret about that.

And that’s it. I’m out, mostly, and it was pretty painless, and I’m really happy that I have such a loving, supportive family.