Tuesday, February 23, 2010
I was very unsure about this path when I first started to read about it. It called to me, but everything I had been taught about Witches and Paganism made them sound evil. I didn’t want to go to Hell or be left behind during the rapture as my Baptist Sunday school teachers had warned. Still I felt pulled in that direction. Cautiously, I started very slowly by participating on the Internet, hiding behind my first magical name for anonymity.
Once I started to understand the path, my pace picked up and soon I was running, finding everything that I could about my favorite topics. My first mentor, who would later become my husband, taught me how to cast the circle, research and protect myself. Things were great, but I really needed more structure to my training. I also wanted to belong to some sort of group.
When I first found the Family Wiccan Traditions International it was growing slowly. The idea of practicing spirituality as a family unit was something that we already did and it was exciting to find others who shared our philosophy. Within a few months of joining the organization I was asked to serve on the Board of Directors as the Web Communications Weaver. It was then that I really started going by my real name in the Pagan community. This was my first step to coming out of the “broom closet”.
My husband’s parents and my two sisters were aware of my path, but that was it as far as family went. Not much later my youngest sister actually took up her own path and is now currently studying as a solitary. My parents and Grandmother were to be kept in the dark because I did not think they would understand or be supportive.
The job market in Ohio started to take a turn for the worse so my husband and I moved back to Texas. We lived with my parents while we got on our feet and looked for a place to live. While we were there it was painful to take the Pagan part of me and put it in a box. It was actually my husband that grew tired of it and blurted out the fact that we were Pagan to my parents. This was the second step.
At first they did not know what to do, but have slowly become more comfortable with our path. Often they will ask what we believe about certain things or have us help them clear out the house (watching my Father smudge for the first time was hilarious). In a lot of ways I think that we have forced them to take a look at their beliefs and widen their view on many other things. This year during Yule my parents joined us in circle for the first time and participated in the ritual. It was a very emotional experience for me.
Grandma and the people at work are really the only people left in the dark about my path. I truly think that telling her would hurt her too much and that is not something that I want to do. And while a few of my coworkers are aware that I am a Pagan, most just think I am a little strange. I am definitely ok with that.